Sweet Memories

"When you are sorrowful look again in your heart, and you shall see that in
truth you are weeping for that which has been your delight"~Kahlil Gibran

 

It is always hard to lose someone. The grief and pain seem unbearable and the worst part is, when you experience that loss, it reminds me of how much you miss the people who have gone before.

 My mother's cousin, Veronica( though everyone called her Ronnie) passed away this week after a very long battle with cancer. This is how I remember her.

As an adult whenever we came to town for visits, my dad and I, sometimes just me, would take my kids to Sunday evening mass at St. Peter and Pauls. I love this mass because you are ALWAYS gaurenteed an excellent homily. My kids and my brother Matt refer to Fr. Frank Pizzarelli as Fr. Jesus. He has longer hair and wears sandles. His homilies are typically about disadvantaged youth, as that is where he works during the week and he delivers a great message.

Anyway, we would sit in the same spot when we would go, which would happen to be behind cousin Ronnie. Afterwards we would talk with her about her kids, her work with children with autism, her siblings. "How is your mom?" "Wow, your kids are getting big"  that kind of thing and she was always smiling. There were a few visits when we didn't see her and my Mom said she had gotten cancer. But then months later she was back! Still smiling and joyful, even when she wore her cap when she lost her hair after chemo, when she got better and she laughed about her curly baby hair that grew back. It seemed like she had it beat! My kids would return to my mom and dad's house after church ready for the drill, "Who did you see?" "Did you know anyone at church?" (Sometime I wonder if she is curious or checking to see if we really went! but that is another story) "We saw your cousin Ronnie!" was the response!

This past year (through Facebook), I was able to have my life enriched by Ronnie's little sister, Jeannie AKA 'Cousin Jeannie', who is actually my age. You know how these big Italian families are. She is the youngest daughter of the youngest daughter on my Mom's Dad's side. Like Ronnie, a pure delight, so real so easy to talk to and our daughters clicked. Jeannie posted pictures this Fall, "My sister danced at her daughter's wedding!" Such joy! So many happy, bright faces!

I grieve for Jeannie, as I know how traumtic it is to lose a sibling, for her children and husband and friends, as a bright, happy person who added pure joy and realness to this world is gone. Gibran is right: she was our delight.

I also grieve for my friend Mike, who lost his brother-in-law and my dear friend Kathy, who lost her husband this year. Such beauty and delight that is gone from our lives.

I try to remember this statement, particularly when experiencing something like this. At a funeral I went to over 20 years ago, the Dad got up afterward and said,

"My son Matt was a Life boy, he loved life. So don't be sad for him, be happy. Because he has what we all want, eternal life."