HAPPY SPRING

We enjoyed a beautiful afternoon yesterday. Took a drive to Greensburg and picked up a Wii. They had been dying for one since before Christmas and I had them save their money and then with the tax refund and the bracket win, We had enough to buy one and a few games. Jack can be a jedi and kate has fun creating people to play Wii sports. She is quite the sore loser. jack is beating her in tennis. I still prefer to walk and took a long one last evening while they bowled.

I did bribe them. They have to run track this June and compete in two meets, since we bought this. I loved track in High school!!! I ran the mile and two mile. (yes, I was very skinny!) endurance, commitment, doing one for the team. that is what it taught me and I can only hope that it gives them as much joy.

They also are going to do Atoms this summer. (It is fun to talk of summer plans!!!) Probably their last year. I plan on cleaning the house that week. (HAHAHA, that's what I said last summer!!)

We also went to Barnes and Noble. Not as big as the one on 5th avenue we visited last week but fun just the same. (The one on 5th avenue had escalators and THREE floors! I didn't want to carry those books around all day but wrote down the names of some on the civil war that Jack wanted. They looked really good.) At Greensburg, kids were reading poetry they had written and won prizes for. It was a contest run by Ligonier Valley Writers Association. LVWonline.org . Some of it was very good. I have read better from some of our kids in Berlin. I will have to get them to enter some of their work next year.

I am marinating a steak for dinner, making fruit salad and a pasta salad....summer food!

Enjoy your Sunday!

Audio Book Therapy

Adversity is another way to measure the greatness of individuals. I never had a crisis that didn't make me stronger."

Lou Holtz


The audio therapy story starts with our first road trip. It was October of 1997 and I was going to visit my sister in Ohio. Jack had just turned two and Kate was 6 months old. I had a Winnie the Pooh and Tigger too cassette, driving the 1992 SAAB and enjoying its coziness and that it felt so sturdy to drive. I felt safe with the kids in it and getting away from the home front was what I needed. My ex was drinking...alot and a week long trip (between therapy sessions) was in order. I was nursing Kate. Right after I nursed her we got on the road and I listened to that tape with Jack for 2 1/2 hours. "Again, again, again." I would hear from the back seat as he played with the Tigger puppet and Kate slept on.
After that we went to NJ and I would stay over night at MJ's house because it was too far to drive all the way to my folks' house in NY. Those visits were great. I began reconnecting with friends, Cooch, Angie, Kelly and MJ, and starting to enjoy my life again. Going to college reunions. The road trips were my life blood. We starting taking books out of the library and I would make a mixed tape: story, music, story, music etc. They were so fun to listen to. They kept Jack entertained and Kate slept on. Over the course of that year I got most of the music from the Disney movies and other fun songs that the kids and I danced to at home and kept making mixed tapes from the library. Over the next few years, Jersey became a regular stop as it reconnected me with all my college friends and reminded me of the person I used to be, before all the crap I had gotten myself into. Being with those friends, continues to give me a feeling of peace and calmness and a sense of belonging. I feel loved and accepted for being me.

While going through the process of leaving, I found I had 40minutes free each day. It was the 20 minute car ride to and from school to our house in Friedens. I would listen to the Harry Potter tapes and anytime I would find myself thinking about work or home. I would rewind and listen again. This was a good strategy for me to have 40 minutes when I wasn't being stressed out by my life. Going through a divorce and audit and "healing" from a strike was not a good combination for me that year. But I did it and survived.

Then the first Christmas after I left, Bob took the SAAB as his car was wrecked and I had planned to go to NY. We weren't divorced yet and the SAAB was in his name and he took it!! I was so angry. I rented a car and threw our luggage in and took off. Enterprise came to the house to pick us up. I took my shoe box of tapes. Unfortunately, there was only a CD player in the rental. We made it to NY without stopping and while I was there we got our first CD audio book. Harry Potter and the Prisoner of Azkaban was the only book on the shelf I wanted to listen to. On the way back to Berlin we listened to the whole CD. Jack was in Kindergarten and would ask tons of questions. I would stop the CD, answer the question and he's say, "OK, put it back on." Kindergarten. It was the most awesome car ride. 6 hours non-stop.

Since then our CD collection has grown.All the Harry Potter CD's, Narnia, Little House, Beverly Cleary, From the Mixed-Up files of Mrs. Basil E. Frankwieler and more. It is our family thing and I push them on everyone I know. Very few people actually borrow them and I have offered them to many of my friends. That's why when Casey's kids enjoy them so much...well it's just nice to have someone who thinks like you and appreciates the same things you do.

The SAAB is still running. Someone in Somerset drives it. We saw it one day. It was kind of a bittersweet moment. The three of us came to love that car. It was our ticket away from the craziness. "That car reminds me of your smile," my insightful son said once.

Thanks for reading this blog and not thinking I am too weird. It is kind of therapeutic to write about these things. I hope its not too boring.

This Easter we listened to Twilight.

Any suggestions for summer travel?

Birthdays

Oh my beautiful daughter is turning 12 tomorrow. She is such a joy. So kind, forgiving, loving. A snuggler, likes family game night, and always comes to me for a hug and kiss good night. She still likes to be tucked in.

She is growing up so fast. Her ears are pierced, she loves aeropostale and american eagle. She also still likes to play with her doll house. She has always read good literature, award winners, realistic fiction, mysteries, historical fiction and then she started with the Clique novels.(only two)

She is giving, a leader, makes good choices and asks me questions about politics, relationships and making good moral decisions. She is artistic and becoming a good writer. She can handle a newspaper article, creative writing and poetry.

Don't get the wrong idea. Our relationship has its moments. I will be happy when she doesn't have to take a spelling test. She is not a good speller. We fight over that. She takes piano and does well but never practices. She loves sports and is so intense she will cry when she loses a soccer game.

She saved my life this little girl. When I looked at her at 3 weeks old and saw how precious she was. I prayed to God that she wouldn't be like me. That she would not marry an alcoholic that treated her badly and that she found someone to respect her and love her and cherish her and she would never settle for less than that. (I never thought I would)

At first, I went into therapy for her. I needed to fix myself for her. She needed a good example of a strong woman who cared enough for her kids that she wanted more for them.

Kate, I love you more than you will ever even know. Maybe when you have a beautiful daughter of your own.

To Facebook or Not to Facebook

My brother Chris recently closed his facebook account. I swore I would never, EVER, have one!!! SO what did I do last weekend, open a facebook account.

I made "friends" with Annie first, which linked me to my nieces, Chelsea and Veronica. I was happy to be "talking" to them again but by the end of the weekend I was so sad. My brother Mike is not well and doesn't talk to my folks and I haven't seen him or his family in 11 years. My younger sibs have gotten in touch with him over the years. I email him now and again but it can be so painful I stop after awhile. getting in touch with his kids just reminded me how much my kids and I were missing. I don't think I could handle opening them, or myself up to visiting him and being disappointed...again. They live in Missouri now so a visit would be a very long trip with unknown results? Jack and Kate already miss their NC cousins terribly. To have another set that they would have fun with and then not see for another 11 years...why expose yourself to that?? (See I am talking myself out of it)

On another note: I joined a St. John's group...my elementary school and there were pictures posted from some kids (they are 40+ now) who went to school with my brother Steven. They had been commenting about him and it was so cool to know how much people care after all these years. Seeing them and hearing their stories has been great. I will be sharing their stories and pics over my next few posts. It has been sad but wonderful. Half of my facebook friends are kids that Steven went to school with.

My brother Steven is the boy on the right, holding up the number one! He was the coolest.

The Right Stuff

"Be faithful in small things because it is in them that your strength lies."

Mother Teresa

(I had to add a quote at the top. Cathy, I love your quotes and needed to add some depth to my existence and my blog!)

I know I brag about my kids a lot but I just have to write about something my son did yesterday. There was an assembly in our gymacafetorium for the PSSA's ending and each student received an award for attendance, behavior and working hard. It was an hour long and kids will pick at each other even with teachers in the room. I saw Jack sitting there with his friends, having fun laughing and joking on the top row. All is good, right? Well he told me later another 7th grader was getting picked on in front of him. The kid told them to stop but they kept on calling him names and trying to poke him. The kid was getting visibly upset and they kept it up and tried to get Jack involved. He wouldn't do it and told the kid move up by him so the others would leave him alone. A little act of kindness that probably meant a great deal to that kid. They tried to get the kid to tell the guidance counselor but he wouldn't. Of course, I try to make a big deal out of it and Jack gets mad. "It's no big deal mom." I guess that's the cool thing about Jack. He really didn't see it as a big deal because it is so much a part of him and who he is. How did I get such a great kid? If he knew I was writing this he would be annoyed.

Dear God,

Thank you for the gift of my children

Thank you for giving me the guidance to raise such

a sensitive loving person

Help keep them safe and continuing on the right path.

Help them continue to make good choices.

I feel like I need to say a dozen rosaries in thanksgiving for all that I have. I can be a catty, mean spirited person at times. Everyone thinks I'm this great Catholic or something. I don't always feel that way. I am grateful for what I have. Great family and friends and kids that want to hang out with me. I haven't been to confession in years. Maybe that's what I need to "clean" my soul!

Enough introspection. Yuck!
Enjoy the rest of your Saturday! I'm making homemade meatballs and sauce. Kate made homemade chicken salad earlier. Very yummy.

Copyright Infringement or Homemade Gift?

"It's fun to have fun, but you have to know how!"

Dr. Suess, "The Cat in the Hat"

I love simple fun. We were invited to my good friend's son's birthday, last Saturday. (what a mouthful!)He turned 4 and you would think my kids had been invited to a King's Palace. They hear Casey talk about her kids all the time and they love her nieces. Of course "no gift please, just come." but I love giving gifts so, the kids and I thought for awhile about what to make. Anyone that knows me, knows how I love books on tape. (I should start calling them audiobooks) My old SAAB only had a cassette player and we would go to the Mary S Beisecker library every Friday that I was on maternity leave with Kate and then Sat's when I went back to work. We would take out their books and cassettes. I would make copies of the tapes sometimes and mix songs with stories and it make our road trips so much fun. (This story is actually a separate blog, so I'll finish that another time)

Anyway, those cassettes are gone now (eaten by the player) and I upgraded to CD's. But I have no little kid books on CD. Well itunes does! For 95 cents to about 2.95 for the longer stories each we got Mike Mulligan and his Steam Shovel, Green Eggs and Ham, Where the Wild Things Are, and two Curious George stories. I downloaded them on the computer and burned them to a CD. We made them two CD's for them. I did have Frog and Toad on CD so we burned that for them too.

Here is the "cover art" by Kate for the CD and Jack made the card( Above)





Remember: Have FUN!

Family Conversations

We have some insightful conversations at our dinner table, car rides, doing dishes, etc. I find myself not listening sometimes and feel guilty because what they have to say is important and some day, in the not so distant future, they will be away at school and I'll be...alone.

Anyway, sometimes I will pose a silly question, just to see what they think. Like, "who is your favorite Simpson character: Bart. (They live vicariously through him.) Who do you dislike the most: Marge "She's smart but she stays with Homer even though he is a bad parent/husband/alcoholic".....interesting thought children...I guess (hope) in their minds I have earned points for leaving their dad.

They are developing a healthier attitude towards alcohol. And not that I ever want them to drink but as little children, (5 & 6) they would get visibly upset if they saw it...I got a Christmas gift once ..a bottle of wine from our Superintendent..and the comment was made "That's not any kind of present! Why would someone give you that." Then the other day we got a promo card in the mail for a 'Murphy's Pub' I almost bought some until I saw the mug of beer on it and said they couldn't wear them to school. Comment: "Kids wear Hooters T-shirts and that's worse" True oh so true my little cherubs. Only 11 and 13 and they know the reference to Hooters on a t-shirt. We didn't buy them.

Kate took a career interest test and came out being an interior designer, Jack was a cop last year. The Moon project is completed after about 20 plus hours of work. In two weeks it's the state exams and some pressure will be relieved! If you don't watch the Simpsons, you missed a good one Sunday night. Springfield Elementary was getting ready for the VPAT's (Vice Presidential Aptitude Tests) as part of "No Child Left Alone" act and "how well you do on these will determine how much federal money this school gets" It was so appropriate for this time of year. I hate that so much rides on those exams. It is frustrating.

Hope you have a great weekend! Tomorrow is Friday and our Life Skills class is selling Starbucks coffee!! Yum!