GETTYSBURG

Devil's Den

Four score and seven years ago..

Abe Lincoln

I had the opportunity to go to Gettysburg for the 3rd time in my life. For the most part the kids were respectful and listened. The guides were great. He had the students re-enact scenes of rebels attacking the north. Did not get nearly enough time to search the book store or the museum. Too busy disciplining 7th graders who act worse than pre-schoolers.

How many times have you said to a group of kids, "you break it, you pay." Well someone had to pay for a broken shot glass. I kicked everyone out of the gift shop then. This was AFTER I told them "this isn't walmart, its a museum and gift shop" as they played with "civil war rifles" made in China. And touched every stupid little trinket in the place. Then, I had to write up two others for running in the museum.

I did witness some random acts of kindness and quiet leadership. I don't always watch for kids doing wrong. I like to see them doing right and I saw that. So, Don't get me wrong, overall it was a wonderful day. I wish I could have spent it with Jack, but you can't have everything. There were a few girls that actually tried to learn and read the plaques. They interacted with the travel guide and were respectful.

We need to go back, just the three of us and really enjoy the place.

Knowing how many people sacrificed their lives there....is overwhelming. How they fought and the walking, marching they did to get to a battle. More than you can comprehend. The horrors they witnessed. Most of the deaths in the civil war were the result of disease.

Here are some pictures from the day. Enjoy. Also posting them on facebook.

Little Round Top and Big Round Top





View the 20th Maine had from Little Round Top



View the Rebels had. The 20th Maine was behind those Rocks.

WEEKEND BLUES

Jack is camping this weekend and Kate was so adament about NOT going to our school's fun night....she wound up going over one of her best friend's homes and slept over night. I knew she was when she left me. She had a great time. It's only 7am and she isn't home yet.

Fun night was OK. The energy of my co-workers is catching. They were happy to be there so I put on my happy face and wound up enjoying the evening. I ran board games in the library. We played apples to apples, catch phrase, UNO. It was a good time. I feel I am a magnet for misfits some times. I had three border line asperger-like kids playing UNO which was a riot. Catch Phrase with someone without good vocab skills is interesting to say the least. "It's the thing you use when you want to ...you know do the thing" It was crazy. That was better than the kid who can't make a decision and just clicked through every word or the poor girl who couldn't say more than "when you are sad" for tears. I guess the good thing is they got to play the games in a place where no one made fun of that and enjoyed themselves. (They are making BBQ chicken at the VFW right now and it smells so good!!) I saw a group of mixed boys and girls playing apples to apples on their own and they were getting along, which was nice to see. They were 6th graders and that group traditionally doesn't always get along. I hate to label kids but that is Kate's class and I have seen them since Kindergarten, so I am not being mean, just honest.

I am feeling that pit in my stomach where I miss my kids. I think I am going back to sleep...ENJOY your day. The weather is to be beautiful.

Thoughts and pics and video

New York Times: Where all pretentious writers go.

Jack is camping this weekend with the scouts and Kate doesn't want to go to fun night. I am volunteering there so she is going. I don't think her friends are, so she wants to stay home and play the Wii. I am going to miss Jack so much it hurts. At least the weather will be nice. I hope the cell phone gets a signal up at Seph Mack.

Here is a video of birds hanging out on the air conditioner. Yes, I never took it out of the window!!



If you can get through the first part, its not too bad. Kate took it!
Also, some pictures from NY and daffodils in our yard!

Matt and the kids on the subway
Full size Spiderman at MidTown Comics





Naked Cowboy in Times Square

HAPPY SPRING

We enjoyed a beautiful afternoon yesterday. Took a drive to Greensburg and picked up a Wii. They had been dying for one since before Christmas and I had them save their money and then with the tax refund and the bracket win, We had enough to buy one and a few games. Jack can be a jedi and kate has fun creating people to play Wii sports. She is quite the sore loser. jack is beating her in tennis. I still prefer to walk and took a long one last evening while they bowled.

I did bribe them. They have to run track this June and compete in two meets, since we bought this. I loved track in High school!!! I ran the mile and two mile. (yes, I was very skinny!) endurance, commitment, doing one for the team. that is what it taught me and I can only hope that it gives them as much joy.

They also are going to do Atoms this summer. (It is fun to talk of summer plans!!!) Probably their last year. I plan on cleaning the house that week. (HAHAHA, that's what I said last summer!!)

We also went to Barnes and Noble. Not as big as the one on 5th avenue we visited last week but fun just the same. (The one on 5th avenue had escalators and THREE floors! I didn't want to carry those books around all day but wrote down the names of some on the civil war that Jack wanted. They looked really good.) At Greensburg, kids were reading poetry they had written and won prizes for. It was a contest run by Ligonier Valley Writers Association. LVWonline.org . Some of it was very good. I have read better from some of our kids in Berlin. I will have to get them to enter some of their work next year.

I am marinating a steak for dinner, making fruit salad and a pasta salad....summer food!

Enjoy your Sunday!

Audio Book Therapy

Adversity is another way to measure the greatness of individuals. I never had a crisis that didn't make me stronger."

Lou Holtz


The audio therapy story starts with our first road trip. It was October of 1997 and I was going to visit my sister in Ohio. Jack had just turned two and Kate was 6 months old. I had a Winnie the Pooh and Tigger too cassette, driving the 1992 SAAB and enjoying its coziness and that it felt so sturdy to drive. I felt safe with the kids in it and getting away from the home front was what I needed. My ex was drinking...alot and a week long trip (between therapy sessions) was in order. I was nursing Kate. Right after I nursed her we got on the road and I listened to that tape with Jack for 2 1/2 hours. "Again, again, again." I would hear from the back seat as he played with the Tigger puppet and Kate slept on.
After that we went to NJ and I would stay over night at MJ's house because it was too far to drive all the way to my folks' house in NY. Those visits were great. I began reconnecting with friends, Cooch, Angie, Kelly and MJ, and starting to enjoy my life again. Going to college reunions. The road trips were my life blood. We starting taking books out of the library and I would make a mixed tape: story, music, story, music etc. They were so fun to listen to. They kept Jack entertained and Kate slept on. Over the course of that year I got most of the music from the Disney movies and other fun songs that the kids and I danced to at home and kept making mixed tapes from the library. Over the next few years, Jersey became a regular stop as it reconnected me with all my college friends and reminded me of the person I used to be, before all the crap I had gotten myself into. Being with those friends, continues to give me a feeling of peace and calmness and a sense of belonging. I feel loved and accepted for being me.

While going through the process of leaving, I found I had 40minutes free each day. It was the 20 minute car ride to and from school to our house in Friedens. I would listen to the Harry Potter tapes and anytime I would find myself thinking about work or home. I would rewind and listen again. This was a good strategy for me to have 40 minutes when I wasn't being stressed out by my life. Going through a divorce and audit and "healing" from a strike was not a good combination for me that year. But I did it and survived.

Then the first Christmas after I left, Bob took the SAAB as his car was wrecked and I had planned to go to NY. We weren't divorced yet and the SAAB was in his name and he took it!! I was so angry. I rented a car and threw our luggage in and took off. Enterprise came to the house to pick us up. I took my shoe box of tapes. Unfortunately, there was only a CD player in the rental. We made it to NY without stopping and while I was there we got our first CD audio book. Harry Potter and the Prisoner of Azkaban was the only book on the shelf I wanted to listen to. On the way back to Berlin we listened to the whole CD. Jack was in Kindergarten and would ask tons of questions. I would stop the CD, answer the question and he's say, "OK, put it back on." Kindergarten. It was the most awesome car ride. 6 hours non-stop.

Since then our CD collection has grown.All the Harry Potter CD's, Narnia, Little House, Beverly Cleary, From the Mixed-Up files of Mrs. Basil E. Frankwieler and more. It is our family thing and I push them on everyone I know. Very few people actually borrow them and I have offered them to many of my friends. That's why when Casey's kids enjoy them so much...well it's just nice to have someone who thinks like you and appreciates the same things you do.

The SAAB is still running. Someone in Somerset drives it. We saw it one day. It was kind of a bittersweet moment. The three of us came to love that car. It was our ticket away from the craziness. "That car reminds me of your smile," my insightful son said once.

Thanks for reading this blog and not thinking I am too weird. It is kind of therapeutic to write about these things. I hope its not too boring.

This Easter we listened to Twilight.

Any suggestions for summer travel?

Birthdays

Oh my beautiful daughter is turning 12 tomorrow. She is such a joy. So kind, forgiving, loving. A snuggler, likes family game night, and always comes to me for a hug and kiss good night. She still likes to be tucked in.

She is growing up so fast. Her ears are pierced, she loves aeropostale and american eagle. She also still likes to play with her doll house. She has always read good literature, award winners, realistic fiction, mysteries, historical fiction and then she started with the Clique novels.(only two)

She is giving, a leader, makes good choices and asks me questions about politics, relationships and making good moral decisions. She is artistic and becoming a good writer. She can handle a newspaper article, creative writing and poetry.

Don't get the wrong idea. Our relationship has its moments. I will be happy when she doesn't have to take a spelling test. She is not a good speller. We fight over that. She takes piano and does well but never practices. She loves sports and is so intense she will cry when she loses a soccer game.

She saved my life this little girl. When I looked at her at 3 weeks old and saw how precious she was. I prayed to God that she wouldn't be like me. That she would not marry an alcoholic that treated her badly and that she found someone to respect her and love her and cherish her and she would never settle for less than that. (I never thought I would)

At first, I went into therapy for her. I needed to fix myself for her. She needed a good example of a strong woman who cared enough for her kids that she wanted more for them.

Kate, I love you more than you will ever even know. Maybe when you have a beautiful daughter of your own.